Today for the first time in a while I actually feel good about running. I finally put in 14 (15 including the mile that I ran to go pick up my bike) and I finally know that in 10 weeks I will be running Chicago (I thank my running team for reminding me about this). I was going to post a blog about my training and how it is preparing me for Chicago but tonight I got probably the most important message that was a wake up call about who I am. It is a good letter so don't take what I say as a negative:
When I say "your are amazing" I really mean it. I started running with TMIRCE in January and right away your were warm, friendly, supportive, kind, amazing.... you are a credit to TMIRCE and I see all you super funny posts and the tremendous you effort you put in to makeing fun and inclusive events, and it really makes me feel good to be running with TMIRCE. When I saw you at the track I was very happy because it reminded me of all the great things about running with this group of people. When I first started running with TMIRCE my play list was dominated by songs that were themed "I will destroy you" (Ex. 99 Bottles by Slaine) but then, after a couple weeks it changed to "you can't control me" (Ex Wake Up by Rage Against the Machine). And then I started to connect with people and the songs became about "I forgive you" (Ex. One Sunday Morning by Wilco) and now today the songs are mostly "I love you" (ex On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz). Its clearly the wonderful people of TMIRCE that have created that transformation and I see you as primary example of the group. So I know this message may seem strange, as we do not talk all that much, but I wanted you know that all the nice, friendly kinds things you do not go unnoticed and they actually mean a lot to a guy like me who just shows up at the club one day because I decided it was time to start running. Today I ran my second 10 miler and I don't think I would have gotten this far without club members like you. So I really just wanted to say; George, you are amazing AND thanks!
See, I told you it wasn't that bad but looking at things I tend to blame myself for a lot of things I have no control over. I've almost made myself the sacrificial guinea pig several times for no reason. I even had the feeling that it was my fault that someone else hadn't come to one of the running clubs for a while and was intent on giving it up. It isn't the first time I had felt it but reading this I realize that I might just be sacrificing myself for nothing and missing the chance to help someone else in the future. However tonight I realize that I am important. It isn't all about me but I know I add a lot to it and that is what matter. I also realize how without running I would still be in a much darker place. I would weigh a lot more than I do now and I would have a much darker outlook on life. I also understand the musical part of this message to me. Most of my blogs do have a song at the end of them. At times it is easy to speak in music. For the past week the song "Reunion" from M83 has been on repeat for the past week. I can't stop listening to it. For you my friend I hope there is a Reunion with us soon.
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